me and a simple life who tries desperately to persuade me that it's difficult and cruel!
I know there are some rules for human relationships, but the thing is I do not like some of them! They seem unfair to me! seem unworthy of following... rules to attract people and to keep them around by ignoring policies! these are the ones that annoy me, and at the same time, I am noticing that most of them are true......... in some ways!
why human beings should be stupid about recognizing care and love! there may exist a king of physical law of attraction/repulsion in this regard that I'm missing. Up to a specific time and level of care it attracts and after that you have to lessen the care to some level ...keep it...and then raise it again! must have a complicated equation or maybe a simple graph like the Sine one!
OK, girl...why do you expect perfection! why keep complaining about this trait of human being. you know we are creatures with lots of flaws, you used to lecture about how animal we are and we have to accept it and live with it! so why not now?! why can’t you accept this! why you became an idealist again! here is your fact: human beings cannot take lots of attention! they will feel heavy and break. You have to feed them gradually; give ‘em a shot of love/affection and then let ‘em go and digest it.. ..then grab them again and give ‘em the next shot. They don’t get happy with swallowing couple of shots all together, although it may sound tempting and cheerful, they will throw up on you, all the love and care you gave, in the end!
Human beings are most likely slow at conceiving, conceiving value of care, distinguishing care from neediness. Probably that’s why they throw up. Experience would probably help -- or some bodies just remain sensitive to shots of attention forever-- them to digest all shots at once and feel the happiness, to start realizing that the person who cares about you, not necessarily needs you... cares cuz it’s beautiful and warm... cuz it connects … cuz it holds.
But still... There is a trade, … living smart or living you!?
Cambridge, Ontario ...... Aug 2011
"why do you expect perfection..."
ReplyDeletewe are all used to be encouraged to seek perfection, ain't it right?!
why not be an idealist?! well... maybe we can not ask others, but ourselves?! damn girl, I believe in this that at the end of the day, "other" throw up all the love and care you gave to them on you...
but.... that's what hurts me the most... that sometimes I -personally- forget to even be idealist about myself....
forget about others, just me... just my dreams... I am becoming like "others" myself!!!! I even can't be kind to myself anymore... that's horrid! simply a insane!
pursuing my dreams.... I keep forgetting to seek my dreams... and I am much less idealist than what I used to be...
it hurts........
girl.... be yourself... forget about others...
I know and I value being myself more than anything else; but the thing is the concept itself and when you see how it actually works is just disappointing.
DeleteIt's just sad to see When you are always there for some people, you gradually loose your value for them (not specifically talking about partners); and it's even more sad to see when you ignore them for a while they get interested again!
You know, probably it's just an ongoing self-test of power for some and all they care is increasing the number of people who they "defeat" in the game of care! But it is not like that for some other who get trapped in this game. It may happen to us too, loosing attraction towards people who care about us and not being able to distinguish that care from neediness...That hurts...
Because we expect humans to be rational, but we are not. We can have better relations and more satisfaction if we understand that we are not rational creatures.
ReplyDeleteIt is not just men. Women are no different. If you give others more love than they want and ready to accept they might reject it, maybe because they feel that accepting your love brings responsibilities that they are not ready to accept, maybe you are going to fast. If you trust that person and believe that he cares about you, you should sit and talk to see what you expect from your relation. Tell him that you care about him and want to be in more harmony with him and want to understand how he feels and views it. (be careful and try not to read between lines when talking because if you do it is likely that you will misunderstand him, men don't talk between lines).
Just a passerby that sometimes reads your blog.
Hello Passerby :)
DeleteI know it's a very late reply. Totally forgot about this and the reason I remembered is cuz I came across another example of this care issue.
I totally agree with your comments about our expectation of humans to be rational, and it is actually too challenging to accept that they are not.
About differentiating men and women in this case, I tired to make my comment as a general issue for human beings. but maybe it wasn't clear enough ;)
The thing is I am talking about the cases that claim they want the love, they want it all, and we trust them and expect nothing but the same. But they cannot handle it. Maybe it is just a misconception or convention that frightens them of accepting that amount of care.
But I totally agree with you about the value of honest and direct communication.
Thanks for your input friend :)